The Week That Was

Wow, I haven't been here in a while. I haven't had much to talk about in a while, but I guess I will be here to talk. Christmas was last week and I got pretty much everything I wanted (except that big pile of cash...). I got Guitar Hero II with the Guitar controller, a comforter (which is actually one of my faves this year, it's so comfy), Stargate SG-1 Season 9 on DVD, as well as Gift Cards to Wendy's, McD's, Best Buy, Mobil and others. I, of course, was supposed to spend my Best Buy card on Wii games (well, was told I should), but I bought LAN games instead. CS:S and DoD:S are now mine, as well as HL2, which I shall play if I ever find the time. I bought it mostly to install a few more mods I need. That was Christmas. Now, we are moving towards the new year. I am going to attend my first ever LAN party with the kids from Amesbury, which I hope will be as awesome as I hear. I am even trying to get better at said LAN games above; I even went to the Holodek (a gaming facility) to play with a friend and get some tips. It also seems that this past week was the week of death in celeb land. Three deaths by major people in politics and music this past week. One we never saw coming, one was on either side, and one of course we saw coming. I am, of course, talking about James Brown, Gerald Ford, and Suddam Hussien (respectively). I am torn on the Suddam execution a little, because of the main reasons everyone is reporting. The fact that he had so many followers, that they might rebel more now that their leader is dead. However, he's dead now, that's that. We'll just have to wait and see. I am also entertaining the thought of finding a second job. I don't mind Dunks as much as I used to, it's growing on me. It's the fact that I don't want to be stuck at Dunks forever, so I want to go back to school. For journalism/*insert other related writing major here*. I want write/report, so going back to school for that might get me in the right direction. I think finally the years on newspaper at high school are catching up to me, biting me in the ass, and infecting my journalism nerves again. We'll see. But, that's me in a nutshell. I am still here living, just procrastinating as usual. I shall attempt to update this more in the new year, but we'll see. I think I'll post my list of games that are on my To-Beat list. There are too many to count right now. That's all I have to say.

Hard

I've played games that are difficult in nature, but was victorious. I bought a Rubix Cube, in order to learn how to solve it. I finally learned how to do that. I thought I would suck at writing poetry, but have a nice little collection. Those things are nothing compared to asking a girl out in my books. I can't muster the words up and I can't find the never to hit that send button. I already know I am cool in her mom's books, as I met her before I met this girl. However, I just can't find the courage to send that message to her. What caused me to be such a pussy? Seriously, I wish I was not afraid of rejection and humilation as much as I am. Someone needs to slap some balls on me. I suck.

Spoilers

Spoilers. For those who do not know, a spoiler in a video game (or anything for that matter) is something that gives away some sort of plot or plot device in the game. It could be anything from a boss battle to the ending of the game itself. Which, unfortunately, I have the privelege of pointing them out to people on Zelda Universe. Don't get me wrong, I love being able to do what I do, but sometimes, there are the people who go too far. As of now, they have only been releasing things very early in the game, which I can take. It's basic gameplay and items that everyone will find once they start the game. It was some guy who decided to go past the Nintendo Ban (Nintendo issued a "embargo" of sorts for each week before release. Basically, to keep the hype up), and went to the fifth dungeon of the game. Posting basically the biggest spoiler to date; the image of the main antagonist in the game, Ganondorf. We all knew he is the game, that was confirmed. But, I wanted to see him for myself. I will manage. However, there was some good news this past week. After complaining each week that Sunday's were just a waste in my wallet, I finally placed in the Hi-Lo Jack. Not only that, but I placed first with my best five so far this week (but not overall). A 578 for 5 launched me finally into the top spot. Hopefully, I can keep the great bowling up for next week and place again (and grab some extra money with hi-singles as well.) That's all I got for now.

Impatience

I am so Nintendo's bitch and I think I kinda like it. Nintendo's latest monster, the Nintendo Wii, is due out in 8 days time. The last week always seems to be the slowest since this is due out in that time as well. Now, i'm not going to lie to you. I am a very big Zelda fan with one flaw. I like the game, but can't find the time or motivation to finish them. Which, I hope, will all change with Twilight Princess. It is my New Year's Resolution (2 months in advance) to finish all the games that I own and that I haven't beaten. This is easier said than done because of the minor fact that I work a full-time job and I only have two days off a week. I can claim that I stay up until 4am and do nothing. It really shouldn't be an excuse. Which makes me think if I should take a vacation from the net for a month. Impatience. The one flaw that many people can have and I was stuck with it. 8 days? That's too god damn long. But, that's all I have to say.

Better

Things tend to get better over time, so it's no surprise that that is how I feel. Better. The three things that I am better at are my health (sort of), my bowling, and my writing. First, my health. Last week, I came down with a cold. Simple little thing: Runny nose, sore throat, cough, sneezing, general feeling of shit. Yea, the whole nine yards. But, I toughed it out and finished the week at work and am feeling better. Even though I probably shouldn't have been handling your food sick. But, I was cautious, nonetheless. Second, my bowling. I have been having a rough go at the thing I love to do. I have (if I have yet to mention it) started bowling on Sunday morning as part of the Hi-Lo Jack tournament. I started out ok, gathering a 103 average, but have not lived up to my standards. I am not doing as well as I possibly could and it upsets me. My wednesday night league suffered as well, going two weeks without breaking 500. This week (aka last night), I finally broke 500 again and hope to bring that attitude into Sunday and as least place this time. Wasting $30 a week and not winning something is really aggrevating. Third, my writing. I last told you that I was planning on writing a novel. Well, I went to write for Zelda Universe and proceeded to fall flat on my face, not writing one word the entire month. This month, the real one, NaNoWriMo started and once again I started off with nothing. However, that has changed, as my novel has finally gotten the kickstart it needed. I changed my idea entirely and proceeded to write 739 words in the night. That is a 739% improvement over last month! So, I'm on the right track. Hopefully, I am not a jackass and fall flat on my face once again. But, that's all I got for now. It's 4am and I must be lonely (although I am an hour ahead of the song).

Doubt

There is one thing on my mind going into the month of November and that is doubt. I am beginning to doubt two things about myself and the NaNoWriMo thing. 1) I didn't even attempt the ZU one and 2) I am beginning to think my idea for my novel sucks. I've had the idea set in my mind since about August/September and the plot is becoming more and more clear. But, once again, a certain factor has come in and told me I suck. Which makes me start to wonder if I should ditch that factor. I won't mention my idea, since my ideas seem to be made into movies (I swear they are watching my dreams), but I don't know about it. My climax seems to be cliche, but I can't figure out a better one. The other climax I had was even more cliche than the one I have now. So, doubt it looming over my head. But, on top of that, the fact that I didn't even finish 1,000 words on ZU is looming as well. I didn't want to write for ZU at all, so that makes me wonder if I am going to get to 50,000 words next month. Maybe, since I had more time to prepare, I might have a better success with NaNoWriMo. Doubt. You are a very nasty bitch. And that's all I have to say.

Inspiration/Nintendo

Another small two-part rant. Inspiration When I last posted, I told you of a online novel writing site, along with ZU's version. Well, I come to tell you that I officially dropped out of the ZU one. I am upset for that because that basically tells me I am not inspired to write. I say that because I had enough time to write a story for that site, yet I chose not to. I went bowling, worked, and just pretty much lazed around the house. This is not a good sign. I really do want to take part in NaNoWriMo, yet if I can't finish ZU's version, what are my chances on that? Nintendo This really isn't a mad statement, but Nintendo has me by the balls. This past Friday, Gamestops and EBs around the country offered up preorders for the new system of Wii. I have already begun to save for it as we speak, so by the time it comes out on November 19th, I'll be ready. However, I wasn't fast enough (or got up early enough) to preorder one. This is a dilemma, because I have a Wii game reserved at Gamestop, and if I don't find a Wii on launch, I won't have a system to play it on. Odd, huh? On a side note, I am once again bowling twice a week. I am going to the Hi-Lo Jack that my home alley has every sunday morning at 9:30. It gets me out of bed early. If you see me out of bed before noon, it's usually a miracle. That's all I have for now.

Writing

I have to be a real idiot. Two months, two novel(la)s. It's going to be fun. For those who don't know, there is a site online called NaNoWriMo, and it's an online challenge where you have to write a 50,000 novel in one month (the month of November). Those who make it to the end get an awesome banner and the satisfaction that you finished. Well, I plan to enter the challenge this year because I have an idea that I have wanted to write a story anyway. Not only that, but a ZU writer decided to start a ZuNoWriMo with a 30,000 novella in the same format on in October rather than November. So, that means, 80,000 words, 2 stories, two months. I am a fucking crazy person. But I love the challenge. Not to mention I work a full time job. So yea, it's going to be a crazy two months. That's all I got for now.

Danity Kane

Small update. I must say the Danity Kane sucks. Coming home from work last night, their new song came on the radio and I must say it put me in a very bad mood. If you have never heard of them, good, keep it that way. I've never really been a "rap" fan. Now, if you do know me, I will listen to a rap song every once in a while. But, Danity Kane is pretty much a female rap group. Now, I never understood rap posses and such, but a bonafide group? You can try to defend the fact that they aren't a rap group and that is bullshit. Because, even though they sound like they are singing, THEY ARE NOT. There is a beat behind them playing and they are produced by DIDDY and BAD BOY RECORDS. How much more proof do I need? They suck, don't listen, your ears will explode. That's all I have to say.

Five Years

Man, do I suck at this or what? I am just here to post my thoughts on the recent ceremony that was September 11th. We all should know what happened that day five years ago. Where we were, what we were doing, and what we were thinking when it happened. I will never forget what happened, nor where I was. I was in my third week of sophomore year of high school. The first attack happened around 9:00am, so I was in first period when it actually happened. In my school, the place I hung out at was a little hole-in-the-wall called the Math Office. It was where the Math Department chair's office was, but we pretty much took it over. Yea, that's how we rolled. I got out of first period at 9:38ish. How I remember the times, I do not know. But, I do remember going to the Math Office for the little break we were given between classes to pick up my books and such for the next class. All I heard was that something was happening, but no one knew the specifics. But there, on the Yahoo! main page was the story. Two planes crash into the Twin Towers of New York City. We were shocked, but we had class, so I went to 3D animation, a class I would later drop, but at the time had. So, I went there, and since we had computers, proceeded to look up as much as I could about the attack. I later found out all the details like everyone else did. The two planes in NYC, the plane in Washington, and the plane that never made it to it's destination, in Pennsylvania. What made the day even worse was my fear of Public Transportation. If they could take planes, why not buses? I was taking the bus back and forth to school every day, so it wasn't like it was on my mind. We'll just say that bus ride home was the most nerve wrecking ever. I got home, and watched the news. I hardly do that anymore, because all the media likes to do is scare you with every little thing imaginable. I think the media is one of the main reasons why I am a hypochondriac, because they tell me about every little thing that could kill me, so then what happens? I get the symptoms. But I watched the news that day to find out everything. Earlier, in school, I watched as the two towers crumbled during lunch. Then at home, I watched every other building in the vacinity crumble due to the travesty. Everything I knew about the world changed that day. I bet I'm not the only one. We all know the rest. The constant looking over our shoulders for the next big thing. The nail clippers being banned from the airports. The recent water issues on planes. I even read on J.K. Rowling's website, the author of Harry Potter, that she almost couldn't bring her manuscript for Book 7 from NYC back to London with her. That is crazy. But, the ideals of that day still linger. Be kind to your neighbors. Live the life you're given. Not every day is the same. Today could be your last. Now, if only we could find the son of a bitch who did it, everything would be fine. Without going 88MPH (the obvious Back to the Future quote could not elude me). That's all I have to say.

Management

Wow, it's been a while. It must have been a good few weeks. Life update, I've finally decided to switch to a more normal sleep schedule. It feels really weird. Anyway, my rant today is about management. The act of being a manager. Not something like time management. The lack of intelligence and/or deep desire to fuck people over royally makes me so upset about management. Ninety-five percent of you reading this know EXACTLY what I am talking about when I say this. The assistant manager at my Dunkin Donuts is a fucktard. If you have never heard that statement before, it is made by taking the words fuck and retarded and combining them. It's more insulting, more vulgar, but the retards don't know you're talking about them (that was so in bad taste). But she is VERY fucktarded. She has three things against her. 1) She can't spell. But, that's not the main reason why she is fucktarded. 2) She can't schedule people properly. I learned about the spoils system is school and thought it wasn't in effect anymore, but boy was I wrong. People she likes get more hours and people who rebel against her get less. Take any of the night people for instance. I have 4 nights, another has 4, and the other didn't get any. 3)She's paranoid and loves enforcing shitty rules. You would think these two are separate, but they play on the other. The being paranoid part comes from being scared that she is going to get fired because her boss is pissed at the way things are being run. Therefore, she posted all these bullshit rules that basically prohibit any work from getting done. But, us night crew rebels still don't follow them and are still getting things done without them knowing. The only reason I rant about this is the fact that I am the main reason why she is implementing rules. Before you call me paranoid, I have the facts behind it. I came in one night to start my shift at 2pm and starting breaking things down that should have been saved until like 5-6pm. But, having worked with someone who started that early, I started that early. This whiny bitch went and tattled to this asst. manager about me doing it. Next day, a sign saying not to start until 8pm was put up. Yet, we don't follow it. Then, to confirm this, she went up to another employee and asked if I was still doing it. Now if that doesn't just blow smoke up your ass, I don't know what will. That got to me and I don't know really why. But, that person stuck up for me, so it's ok. I then proceeded to break stuff down tonight at 5pm on the dot. I know how management works. I was an assistant manager. I know how you are groomed to be there and how you are supposed to act. But, I also know that some rules are only there to be broken. That's all rules are. They are there to enforce some sanity in a company, but most are just plain bullshit. I told others that if I ever started a company, the rules would be simple. Don't be a fucktard, don't steal money, and don't be too vulgar. Otherwise, have a ball. Because you aren't here to be fucking robots, running around for a company that doesn't give a fuck who you are, or if you make it anywhere in this world. That's why I hate business, but that's more another rant. But, that's all I have to say about that.

Red Sox

I haven't been around in a while, because I was unable to find something to rant about. But this past weekend served up the best rant I could think of. You should all know i'm a Red Sox fan. If you have seen Fever Pitch, then you know what kind of people they are. We are the most faithful people in the world, which is true because we waited 86 years to win. Everyone knows about the history of the Red Sox, if you are truly into baseball. Well, this past weekend, the second coming of the Boston Massacre (as the media puts it) happened and it pretty much made all Red Sox fans cry. Let me set up the stage. The Red Sox had swept the Orioles the weekend prior and had just dropped two of three to the Tigers, putting them 1.5 games behind in the division. Which was pivotal, seeing as though the Yankees were in town for 5 games in 4 days. So, we could pick up ground in the standings and possibly giving us some ground to make it to the playoffs. Thursday was off. Friday came a Day/Night doubleheader, to make up for a rainout earlier in the year. We were swept for the day, in blowout fashion both games, thus dropping 2 games to 3.5. Saturday came, and Josh Beckett came in to get the ball rolling, and lost as well, thus pushing the deficit to 4.5. Sunday next for Schilling on ESPN, which was the game that seemed like we might win, taking a lead into the ninth only to blow it. Deficit now to 5.5. Monday wasn't any different. David Wells pitched like he should, only to lose a small run game. The deficit now? 6.5. Not only were the Red Sox swept in 5 games by those fucking Yankees, but they pretty much killed any motiviation to root them into the playoff this year. I ask now? How are the Bruins looking? And that's all I have to say about that.

News

I decided that a rant about the news this past week needed to be touched upon, mainly the story about the JonBenet Ramsey supposed killer finally found. If you were living under a rock for the past ten years, then you have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. So let me sum it up. Ten years ago in Boulder, CO, a six-year-old girl named JonBenet Ramsey was found in her basement, dead from being strangled. They also believe she may have been sexually assaulted, but more on that later. At first, everyone thought that here parents were the killers, as she was found in her own basement, making many people wonder why or even how someone could have made it into the house, rape her, and kill her. Well, apparently, they found the person who did just that. A school teacher living in Thailand, named John Mark Karr, was arrested after confessing that he was the one who killed JonBenet ten years ago. He said that he was with the little girl when she died, and claimed that her death was an accident. He also claims that he drugged and had sex with the little girl before killing her. Also, he claims that his original plan was to kidnap her and ask for a ransom. Now, I know most people don't really care for Wiki much, but most of the time they are truthful. Therefore I link you to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonbenet_Ramsey If you read through this article, you can find every aspect of what I just said that Karr said happened. Now, I know what most of you are thinking, because I'm possibly thinking the same thing. After watching CNN Headline News all night at work (since it is the only thing they have playing there), most of them think the same thing as well. ANYONE could have accessed all the stuff about this case, made a confession based on what they read, and made themselves an instant celebrity. The only thing against him? The fact that he does have a record of the same kind of crimes. Child crimes, that is. He has the mind set to be the killer of the little girl, but only science can really tell if he was there on the night of the murder. They say that blood was found on JonBenet from a unidentified male. So, only time will tell. The only other disturbing thing I heard on CNN? Apparently, they also found some wood splinters in or around here vaginal area (which, in the first place, is fucking sick). So, even if he didn't have intercourse with her, he might have been using something else. This whole story is fucked up, and can only get worse. But that's all I have to say about that. But, that's not my entire rant. I have one more small piece of news I hate even more than that. The New York Yankees (a team you never, ever, ever see again on this blog unless I am stating how much they suck (can you tell I'm a Boston fan yet?)) are planning to build a new stadium, estimated at a hefty 1 billion dollars. They claim that the stadium will have a musuem in it open year round, will be larger than the current stadium, and will still be named Yankee Stadium. Two things out of this story? 1) It pisses me off that they are building a new one, not because I like Yankee Stadium, but that it's 1 billion dollars, which is more than I'll ever have. Two? It means that I only have a couple more years to catch a game there (when the Sox play, of course). You would think I would want nothing to do with there, but it's still a part of history, and would be somewhat nice to loathe in person. But, now that's all I have to say.

Books/World

This is a double rant. I feel there is enough to warrant my personal rants, as well as a rant to the world. So, let me start with my rant: Books My rant on books isn't that they exist, but the fact that I can't write one. The human brain is a wonderful thing and me starting the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy that makes me realize this. It is amazing that we can the things we do, Music, Art, Teaching others, all the skills that we can do with tools, and of course, Writing. Writing has been a part of my life for a while now. Of course, school makes you take english in school, for a good reason, but there are not many who actually like taking that class. I will admit that during school, I hated English, but I think the reason wasn't because I hated the subject. I think it was because I hated the things we had to do, too much reading something that didn't interest me, and writing things I didn't want to write. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to write poetry. I started writing it in high school, when I found dating and girls who I loved. I wrote it because I was inspired by the person I was with enough to write my feelings down on a piece of paper so everyone can read them. Then, there was newspaper. I joined the AHS Weekly out of a fluke, really. I started "dating" this girl my freshman year, even though there was nothing there. But, she was a seller of the newspaper, and was on the "staff" enough for me to go the room where they were making it, and joined. I stayed every night as long as I could, because back then I was taking the bus back and forth to school. They ended way too late for me to stay, since the last bus of the night came 2 hours before they ended. So it sucked in the fact I couldn't stay, but I still learned much my freshman year. Over the next three years, I became experienced in the "journalism" style of things and reporting, even going out to some event and taking pictures and reporting it as well. I think that's where my love of writing and reading flourished. I loved editing stuff my senior year, and I loved putting the paper together and being able to put my touch on everything I did. But the thing that bugs me most, out of everything, is the fact that I can't write a book. I don't have that "inspiration" and thoughts enough to create a story and characters to write a book. I praise people like J.K. Rowling, Douglas Adams, Stephen King, Tom Clancy, etc for being able to tell a story that they just made up on their own. I don't care about the success factor, I just want to tell a story that people would love to read for a long time. I also have trouble finding a topic to write an article on any site or paper or anything. I want to write down my opinions on a matter or make people believe a certain thing. The two things I think I lack/have are the lack of inspiration and the fact that I am a procrastinator/worker. You wonder why I put those last two together. It's because since I work, I don't have the time to actually sit down and just write. But, since I don't have the inspiration to find something to write, it sucks. But that's my rant on Books. World My small rant on the world stems on everything I've been watching/reading/laughing at recently. It's the fact that the Middle East, plainly put, sucks. Everyone is fighting over nothing, people claiming that we're fucked, and the fact that the world is going to end. I work at Dunkin Donuts, and anyone who's been in one know that most have TV's, and most are placed on a news channel to: a) piss the workers off and b) to give us "information". The only information I get at night when I work, is when Glenn Beck is on, and he screams at me that we are in World War III and we're totally fucked. So that's where my rant comes in. I am a VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRY big advocate of World Peace. If I ever do get a chance, I will find someway to make my voice heard about it, but I can not for the life of me understand why we fight. This coming from a wrestling fan, but I also know that wrestling is entertainment, and not real. I'm talking about Iran v. Isreal and U.S.A. v. Iraq, and the prior World Wars, it pisses me off. Even though we won World War II, it was a bad idea to drop the nuke and I bet that most of you would agree. It's fortunate that we make technology and the fact that we dropped the bomb to win, but the aftermath of doing it is being shown today. Every country feels the need to build a bomb so they have leverage over others. But, we all realize that with the amount of bombs on the earth at this moment, if they all were to go off, you wouldn't care what you're reading at the moment. I wish people would grow up, and get along. But, as long as many religions exist and many different believes exist, that will never happen. When you parents told you that you should always be nice to others because you should treat others the way you want to be treated, it seems that all those evil people could have taken a dose of that when they were young. They know that if they fuck with others, we will fuck back. But, i'm getting tired, and must stop ranting. And that's all I have to say about that.

Unknown

Standing at work today, I began to think of a blog I could write. Then I remembered no one reads this, so it would be for my own entertainment. The rant is still the same. I am afraid of the unknown. If you know me, you actually know I fear heights and death. So you wonder how I get the unknown out of either. Well, first of all, both are inadvertantly intertwined. I am afraid of heights for the purpose that, if I fall, I could die. Therefore, since my other fear is death, I don't like heights. Once again, where does the unknown come from? It comes from me standing at work today thinking about my blog and the post I could write. I began to ponder the real reason why I fear death. It's not the fact that I'm dead, because as I know, it's inevitable. I cannot stop myself from dying, it's one of those things that are certain when you are brought into this world. The thing that scares me is what happens next. I love this quote in my favorite book series, Harry Potter, and it is very underused, even though the character who said it is now dead himself. Yea, I just spoiled it for you if you find this quote now. It goes "After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." It has been used recently in discussions about the fact that Dumbledore didn't mind death, because he knew it was inevitable as well. No one really knows what happens next. You all go to bed with a head full of dreams for the next day, when you wake up and take on the world again for another day. As a lot say, you are lucky to wake up every day to take another stab at things. That's all you can ask for. So why the depressing post? I am still having issues where I think there is something major wrong with me. With that being said, I can only think about the unknown, seeing as though it might be creeping up on me, which I know sounds bad, but seriously. It's all anyone can think of, it's always in the back of your mind, from the time you learn of death, til the day you are on your death bed. Which, hopefully for most, is life expectancy, which is 70+ years. I also post this to keep a reminder to all, that you must cherish the things you have, and the ones you love. You can never tell your mother or father how much you truly love them, even if they are going through rough times. When they know that you are on their side, it makes things that much better. So, my depressing rant is now over. Hopefully, I don't have one for a long time. Like another 50 years or so. Besides, I need to go to Water Country tomorrow, and it's 4am. So, my bed calls for me sleep and hope that I get another day to step foot outside my door and enjoy the Dragon's Den, line-free. And that's all I have to say.

Anger Management V 2.0

Bowling is something that has been in my life for about 3 years now. Ever since I joined a junior league when I was 17, I have done it every year since. Wednesday has been my day since 14, a mix of newspaper and bowling has been in my life on that night. After leaving high school, it became bowling. The only annoyance to the game is the fact I try to hard. As shown tonight, if you could have watched. Toward the end of the night, the fifth string, I just started hurling the ball down the alley, not really caring. It's like anyone who has a frustrating run at something, they are easily angered at the most simple things in life, or those they work hard to fix. I will never say I am one of the best bowlers in the league, because i'm not. My career average I would say is around a 95, which in candlepins is average. But, with my state of mind, I want to be the one out there winning the match if needed. I want to be the one carrying the 105-110 average on the team, not the one bowling a 439, when your average is far higher than that. The main factor I believe is that I don't practice as much as I should. Mixture of reasons to that. The fact that I work 5 nights a week now, during the peak hours where I could go, 2p-10p. I wake up 10 minutes before my shift, so going in the morning is out of the question. And i'm both extremely cheap and extremely good at wasting money at the same time. I could have $200 to my name, and wouldn't want to spend it, yet always find a way to do so. Therefore, I'm broke by Tuesday when I just got paid Friday. So, I say I suck when I don't put the effort in. Yet, when I put the effort in, it's all for naught. I am also changing my approach too much to warrant a care. I can't understand why I can't just throw the ball the same and get the results. Maybe i'm just too picky. The day was not all wasted. I went to the driving range as well, and finally hit a ball down the fairway straight. That is a step in the right direction, as all my balls have been curving too far right. I still hit them that way, but not many. I've noticed that my short game is ok, therefore I should progress backwards. Master putting, then chipping, then irons, then woods, then drives. I think that would be the best way to go. You must be thinking i'm crazy. I'm playing two sports that most people don't care about. But, I care about them, so that's all that matters. You never know, I could be on your TV soon playing on the PGA. Or I just might still be sitting in my chair dreaming. And that's all I have to say.

Laziness

I have once again learned about myself tonight when I stupidly agreed to close at work alone. I would never realize how much I don't do, and how much the other person does when I don't unless I did close alone. What I did realize is if there isn't two people on at the store to take care of customers and the other random jobs at night, it takes an hour an a half to halfass everything done. I could only imagine if I really put effort into it. The fortunate part was it was only two and half hours alone, and it was drive-thru only. But still, I was alone. The fact is, the store is only run efficiently if two people are there. I did manage to get everything done. The only thing I really didn't accomplish was the backroom, to which I didn't sweep, so it still looks like shit. Oh, and the creamer I was supposed to clean. I can just hear one of the people there now. "I've closed alone before, and I got everything done." Well, that's also because you're Superwoman, and that's not an overstatement. It's more of an understatement. In my two months at Dunkin Donuts, tonight made me realize how much of a lazy fuck I really am. I will admit, I am rather lazy at EVERYTHING I do, but for some reason I am able to get my job done. It was the same at Market Basket, Mobil, and possibly Seaview. Mobil takes the cake, because all I remember from that is me sitting behind the counter doing nothing all third shift, yet everything was done by the next morning. I even amaze myself sometimes. Whether you would like to believe it or not, sometimes Laziness makes the world go around. Being lazy sometimes makes you realize how much some people really accomplish. It might make you realize how much you really suck, but in the end, you realize how much you really need to accomplish to make yourself a better person. Who knows, maybe you'll become what the person who wonders why the other person you work with is so lazy. That's one thing that I can't comprehend. I try to understand why my coworkers won't tell me I'm lazy, when I know they think it. I can "see" myself from an outer view, and I would yell at me for doing the things I do there. Who knows, maybe they don't think that, and think that I actually do accomplish something. Probably the reason I rant tonight. The fact that without me there, they would have a night like I had tonight. One from hell, alone, and having too much to do with not enough time to accomplish it in. And that's all I have to say.

Technology

Computers are becoming the norm in any household nowadays. Faster services like cable and DSL are allowing people to surf the net with such fast speeds, it's amazing how fast you are going and not even realize it. I am concerned though that technology is so flawed that so many things can go wrong, that if you don't have a degree in computers, you are totally fucked. Which brings me to my rant. My internet connection is a piece of shit. After surfing two years on the net with my wonderful cable modem, the past few weeks reminded me what dialup was like. How much I wanted to rip out my hair because it was going so fucking slow, my ADD told me to go read a book. I can't understand why it's going so slow. I reset the fucking thing so many times a day, yet a snail goes across my desk faster than pages load. For those who are thinking "Why not just call Comcast for the issue?" Already did and the person who dealt with it was probably reading off a screen a list of solutions that I could have found online. The problem? I COULDN'T GET ONLINE TO FIND THE LISTS. Therefore, my loop theory is now getting more stronger. In anything in life, you are constantly stuck in a loop. I already mentioned the money-->job-->college loop. The most recent one being the computer issue-->tech support. Tech support being the computer issue, as those indians who are trying to tell you how to fix your computer is quite funny. I am beginning to think that the modem is finally saying "You know what, after being on for three years straight, I've had enough. I'm going to die and take you with me." But I have no proof of the life of a cable modem. Which, once again, is something I could find online. You must be shocked I was able to post this. It was in one of those pockets where I actually had access. Amazing thing, technology. And that's all I have to say about that.

Obsessions

Before I begin (to those who actually spend time and read this), i'm not dead. I just didn't have anything to write about the past few nights. However, after reading my Pearls Before Swine treasury, I found that I do have something to talk about. Obsessions. Whether they be of the small or OMG YOU ARE A FREAK obsessions. Mine are usually the former, and they tend to change from week to week. My current obsession at the moment is golf. In an earlier post, I told you that I was unable to drive a golf ball straight. Well, the past week, I watched too much of the golf channel, went online to find tips, and have been practicing in my room with my toy light saber I bought last year. You might ask, why the light saber? Well, it's a good length, I can grip it like a golf club, and swing it like one as well, and it's just short enough that it doesn't bang into my walls. I even asked my dad to come out to the driving range with me, as he is one of the two people I know who golf, the other being my uncle. The last time I was supposed to go with my uncle, but my leg issue stopped me from doing so. Thanks blog, you just reminded me of something I need to go do, ask my uncle to go golfing. Golf, as I thought of it last night, is a hard game to learn and a hard game to master. My other "sport" of choice, candlepin bowling, is easy to learn and hard to master. My favorite sport, baseball, is easy to learn and easy to master. That should give some of you golf ignorant people out there enough of a comprehension to the talent these golfers actually have. Those who have never picked up a golf club and tried to hit a golf ball are usually the same who complain about the people who play golf. The people who say that golfers have it easy, winning millions of dollars to hit a ball. Go to a driving range, pick up the club, swing at the ball. See, not so easy, is it? There is a lot of things you need to do before you even step up to the ball. What club to use, how far do I need to hit it, what's the wind like. Then you step up to the ball. You need to hit it at a certain point to hit it right. Golf is like baseball in a sense. The same people probably complain about baseball being too easy. I would love to see you hit a 95mph fastball every time. Go to a batting cage, go in the fast pitch section, and tell me how many you hit. See, not so easy, is it? People who bash thing they don't understand are ignorant of that sport. I admit I bash Nascar and the IRL because I don't understand it. There really is no strategy in that, to my standpoint anyway. To fans, it's the simplier things, like they need to know how much gas they have, if there tires are inflated, the oils not overheating, this and that. It's driving, it's a machine that gets you from Point A to Point B. Not a competition. The reason for this random post about obsessions was brought on by my non-stop obsession in life. That's comic strips. I love the funnies to the point that my bookshelf is pretty much just funnies. I currently have 7 Garfield 3-packs, 8 regular Garfield books, 14 Foxtrot books, 2 Foxtrot treasuries, 3 Zits treasuries, a Calvin & Hobbes treasury, a Dilbert treasury, 3 Get Fuzzy books, a Least I Could Do (online comic) book, and my recent purchase, a Pearls Before Swine treasury. You make think I have a problem, I see it as constant bathroom reading material for someone with a short attention span. And on that note, I believe my bed calls me. Wednesday is my only day off, so the quicker Tuesday comes and goes, the more I will be happier. And that's all I have to say.

Drama

You know when people tell you that you can't go back to high school. Well, that is true, you can't physically be 14 years old again, but the drama that you remember from high school is always, and I mean always, present. It's funny to watch your peers in high school battle the rigors of school, activities, sports, the after-effects of puberty, sex, relationships, jobs, and god knows what else, while finding time to bitch about it all. Well, my friends, those people NEVER STOP. Take for instance at Dunkin Donuts yesterday. Apparently, two people walked out today during an inspection there because the manager threw away her juice. You wouldn't get that, unless you knew that we aren't supposed to be taking bottles soda/juices without paying for them, which most of us do anyway. Well, she got pissed, yelled at the manager for a while and walked out. Followed by a friend of hers who apparently looked at the manager wrong. A third didn't show up at 3 to start her shift with me tonight, which is when I found out. So, I got to work with my manager tonight. Which wasn't too bad, because he didn't want to be there, because he had started working at 4am. So, with that mindset, he locked the doors at 9pm, which ended my night and started my day off an hour earlier. Drama is so overrated. It seems in this world, that most people can't get by the day without starting some sort of drama, whether it be small or large. And it sucks, because I hate dealing with other people's bullshit. On another note: My anger update. It seems that with this increasing more and more at work, I should keep you updated on how bad I blow up at work. Today wasn't too bad, it wasn't as busy. But there was a spurt where I threw stuff and I punched the ice in the container out front. Which, a while after I did it, I found out I cut myself a little bit on my knuckles. Not too painful, just a real annoyance. Is my anger a form of drama? That for you to decide. You should see some of the rants and rage I throw at work, they are entertaining when I get into a better mood. Especially breaking that ice coffee brew basket. The thing is an overgrown version of your normal brew basket and made of basket and I put a nice crack in it. Seriously, i'm actually shocked the sucker didn't snap into two pieces. The best part? The manager had to tape it back together, so it actually does work again. Fortunately, for all, I don't take my anger out against my coworkers. Just all the dumbass customers and inanimate objects. Which, is better, if you think about it. And that is all I have to say.

Anger Management V 1.0

My anger has seemed to have resurfaced since I started working at Dunkin Donuts. That, my friends, is not a good thing. If you happen to know me very well, you know I have anger issues. I'm talking Serious. Anger. Issues. I hate getting angry, but when i'm there, any little thing can set me off and it's not that pretty. Example: Work today was one big anger issue. It seems that I might have to change my mind about management. If they want me to be one, I will just so that I can change that fucking schedule. We are busy during the afternoon, from about 3-7pm. So, there are only two of us on tonight from 3p-10p. Therefore, the place was trashed the whole night, we had to scurry the last few hours to get everything done, and I pretty much lost it all night. I was throwing cups in anger, threw a coolatta in the sink and got splashed, angry tones over drive-thru. The biggest anger issue was me breaking the ice coffee brew basket. Yea, I can't keep my anger issue in check there. I was close to having a breakdown. So, all in all, an AWESOME fucking shift. And don't get me started with the internet. I caused a really big shitstorm at ZU, that I am getting ready to hide in a big fucking ditch for a week. I started a war I didn't want to start, and they won't give it up even though I apologized. I don't want to start something with you guys, and yes, I know you're watching this, since you found it funny to post my info on your site. I don't want any trouble from you guys, I won't meddle in your site again. And with, I'm going to go cry myself to sleep. Maybe it will ease the pain that has creeped back into my leg again. Fucking doctors don't know shit.

Golf

I went to the Driving Range today and came to the unfortunate conclusion: I am not the next Tiger Woods. It's unfortunate because in my never ending endeavor to be the next millionaire, that isn't the route I can take. But it isn't just the money I am interested in. Golf seems like that one sport that even if you can just hit the ball 200 yds per swing, chip it on the green, and the putt it in, you have a daily activity that you can play with many friends, if you choose. However, my drive doesn't like to get airborne. And when it does, it hooks far right. An issue I can not for the life of me solve. I have yet to practice the other aspects of the game, but it is my goal to find a person who knows the game very well, and coach me for free. Free things are much better than paid things, but you already knew that. I have been watching way too much Sportcenter/Golf/Golf Channel to realize that it is my goal to find another hobby/sport to occupy my mind. It seems that would be the best way to past the time. But, practicing sucks, and anyone who was on my JV team in high school baseball would know that. But, I also realize it's the only way to get better. Most aren't born with that ability to do everything perfectly, even though most claim that. In other news, my bowling scores for the night include: 95, 103, 92, 103, 106. 499 for 5 makes Lozzie a sad panda. And that's all I have to say for now.

Jobs

It seems the writing bug has bitten hard this time around. The urge for me to write is strong, yet that piece for ZU I want to write remains unwritten. I find it funny that I have been searching online for jobs in journalism. The only bad part being that I actually need college experience to get the jobs. If only they accepted the fact that I was on my high school's newspaper and nothing more. I actually do know what i'm doing, even if most don't think so. That's the only thing I hate about jobs. Certain jobs, like writing, shouldn't require a college education. I don't mean that people who speel liek tis should be able to be a reporter. I mean, if you can impress a publisher with a piece of work enough, you should get the job. Continuing to woo said publisher is the bonus. I know what you're thinking. I am trying to find an excuse to stay out of school. You could be far from the truth. I want to go back, i've been itching for the past year. The funds are what's keeping me out. I just need to win the lottery or have something just drop my tuition fees in my lap, and I am all set. Those commercials are so true. "I need money to go to school, but I need school to get a better job, so I can make the money I need to go to school." It's an endless fucking cycle. It's amazing how people are able to accomplish the loop without spiraling too far into debt. Granted, I am paying off a loan that went down the shitter, but once it's paid off, that an extra $50 a month to my name. Granted, it's going to take me 15 months to do it, but that's closing in. It's also amazing that I can find something to rant about every night. It must be to keep my mind off other issues. Like the state of the world and my body. Both, to which, I don't want to get into. Life sucks and it's only recently I've believed that to the fullest extent. But, I chug along knowing I must be here for a reason, otherwise I wouldn't be here at all. And that's all I have to say for now.

Work

You know, if you know me, you know that I have two styles to me personality. I have my laid back, really lazy side and I have my hard-working, must get everything done side. Currently, my lazy side is in full force. As mentioned before, I told you about my love of writing, yet the lack of inspiration to do anything about it. I am currently in the middle of writing an article for ZU (which I believe I said as well), which I took a break from to write this. I also took a break from it to chat in the chatroom, practice my hitting stance, and go to the bathroom. My two sides also show up at work. I am either the most laziest cleaner/stocker in the store that night, or I am doing everything at such a pace, I even amaze myself. Sunday and Monday are two great examples. Sunday, I was really lazy, and didn't want to do a thing. It might have something to do with the fact that halfway through the shift, my inner thigh decided to say "fuck you" and started hurting again. Therefore, I did shit on Sunday. Monday, however, I got in, started doing dishes, took out the trash, took orders, and started stocking. It was pretty much nonstop all night. My leg started nagging at the end, but not to the extent it has been hurting. Right now, my leg is fine. It seems the pain is starting to subside for the most part, however that doesn't keep my nerves in check. I still believe that something is wrong and probably will be back in the doctors office in no time, asking for them to do a test in my area, so they can finally tell me I am a massive hypodroniac who has nothing better to do than think he has something he doesn't. That's my life. I go to bed every night and the first thing I think of is whether or not I wake up in the morning. It's depressing, I know, but it's good in a way. It makes me appreciate what I have more and makes me more motivated to do more. Including going back to school, which you wouldn't expect anyone to be itching to go back after 2 years off. I have never been the normal person in the bunch. Ask anyone who knows me. Well, I better set off to work on this article. I have many more I want to write, but the patience and attention to do it isn't there. And I say I want to be a journalist... And for those who wished I updated (to which I say, what the fuck are you on), this hasn't been in the front of my mind, as you just read.

Bowling

Well, things are looking brighter I do believe. I went bowling tonight. Now you would think that isn't that big of a deal, but the thing is, my leg didn't kill me as much as it has been, especially since I am was actively playing the game the entire night. You think it isn't much to do to bowl, but you are moving arms and legs to slide, so my leg is moving around enough to maybe cause pain. Now, tomorrow... If you care, my scores were 85, 99, 110, 114, and 81. That's 489 for 5, which is above my average. If you are wondering why they are "so low", it's because it's candlepin bowling, the one with smaller balls and pins. I live in New England and candlepin is king in this area. That's all I got right now. But, I do ask that whoever the anonymous person is that is posting comments on my site... I would appreciate if you tell me who you are. I like to know who is actually viewing my blog.

Pain V 3.0

I love being in pain. It's so exciting. I love walking around with my legs pulsing and telling me it hurts. The better part is that the Aleve i'm taking isn't really dulling the pain much. The heat on my leg does, so there is hope for me to not worry as much. I want this pain to go away. I want to feel like there really isn't nothing major wrong with me. Because it's getting to be that way. I feel like there is something major wrong, just like my sister knows there is something major wrong with his wrist. I am going bowling tomorrow, because I will never give that up. But, I am not going to play DDR, because i'm stupid, but not THAT stupid. I've decided that I will hopefully write a couple of articles i've been meaning to write at the alley tomorrow. I have so many ideas finally for articles to write, yet, if you read my post about irony being a bitch, then you know my situation. Anyway, I am at 4:24am. My plan didn't work last night, as I did fall asleep at 7am. So I am out to play MVP Baseball and listen to Pottercast (because I already finished all my Mugglecasts, so you Mugglecasters that don't read this, don't worry ;))

Pain V 2.0

In an attempt to control the pain in my leg (and lessen my fears for this month), I went back to the doctor again to find out why my leg has still been hurting and if i'm still going to be here for a long time (don't ask). Well, they told me again what they told me two months ago (I actually had deja vu at this appointment): That my groin is sprained, that I should not be too active, take two aleve two times a day, and apply a heat pad to the area. The only issue I had a concern with was he did feel the lump I thought I felt, and he told me it's nothing major that it might just be a cyst. The last time I checked, a cyst was something to worry about. But, I am going to actually follow doctors orders this time around, other than the last two. The reason my leg probably isn't fixing itself is because I haven't been following the orders. The first one was to do what i'm doing now. I started taking the aleve, but I was still active and didn't apply the heat. The second one was to take an antibiotic, which I didn't take until a month after he gave it to me. But, I was still active. This time, i'm finally not being an idiot, and deciding to see if this works. If not, i'm going back to have them check me out again, and this time, i'm not leaving until they do any tests that will tell me that my groin is fine, and i'm not going to die anytime soon. So, i'm sitting here with a heat pad on my leg. I will not go out and throw my tennis ball around in the parking lot (which is the most active this i was doing), but, I flat out refuse to miss bowling this week. If, after this week's session, I will not bowl next week and rest my leg. The only issue I have with this week, is that I was active over the weekend, and didn't let my leg fix itself. I asked my uncle to go to the driving range this weekend. I don't know whether or not to say maybe next week, but I really wanted to start practicing golf ASAP. But, my health is the most important priority. Now, I think I should go to bed. I've been meaning to go to bed earlier, rather than 7am every morning. Yes, you read that right. 7am. Every morning. I'm gone.

Irony

I am a writer. I love to write and it gives me a nice sense of being. The fact that I can write something, people will read it, and hopefully they like what I have to say makes me elated. But, I am also a procrastinator. I love to be lazy and not do anything productive, while thinking I am doing something productive. It reigns true at home, when I was at school, and at work. So, my two personalities are clashing. I have this wonderful article I want to write for Zelda Universe, but I am too lazy to care to write it. Then a third factor is there as well. I have a very unique case of writers block. Sometimes, if I sit to write an article, I have a hard time finding the words I want to write down. So, what do I do? Irony... How much I hate you.

Pain V 1.0

We all know that pain sucks. We have been in pain at least once in our life to know that when you are in pain, it sucks. Well, I have had a constant pain in my left leg for the past couple of months. I have been to the doctors twice in May. I saw two different people. One told me I had a groin sprain, which my mom had also told me. The other told me I had epidydimitis (when I told him I thought I had felt a lump on my boys). So, I don't know what to believe. The second one prescribed an antibiotic, to which I took last week, to which I was fine the whole time. But now, the pain is back, and other ones have been popping up. Some days it's my lower back, sometimes my little pinky on my left hand feels numb... So yea... But, the reason I haven't been back to the doctor since, is the same reason I have a nice $180 dentist bill... I just don't have the money to do it. So I'll just sit here in my room, take my aleve, and ice my crotch. Maybe Wednesday i'll suck it up and go to the doctor.

Blog

*Parental Advisory Suggested: There is swearing in this blog, so be warned* I guess I'll get into a real blog place... This is my first attempt at a true blog. You won't find much here, just my random ramblings. I will probably post articles I write, my thoughts about video games, bowling, and wrestling, or whatever you really want me to rant about. About me: I am a news/content editor at a nice site called Zelda Universe. I am also a newly instated Webmaster/Admin of the forums. I have been with the site for almost four years, so I am (hopefully) somewhat respected. I hope. I am an active candlepin bowler. I am a gamer. I watch the WWE. I tend to ramble about these things, and have actually started writing articles about them. Mostly just for my own good mind, other times for others to read. My Zelda ones get published on ZU, but my wrestling ones are posted on my new wrestling forum for other wrestling fans to read. I need to promote that forum more though. That's all for now. More to follow.