Drama

You know when people tell you that you can't go back to high school. Well, that is true, you can't physically be 14 years old again, but the drama that you remember from high school is always, and I mean always, present. It's funny to watch your peers in high school battle the rigors of school, activities, sports, the after-effects of puberty, sex, relationships, jobs, and god knows what else, while finding time to bitch about it all. Well, my friends, those people NEVER STOP. Take for instance at Dunkin Donuts yesterday. Apparently, two people walked out today during an inspection there because the manager threw away her juice. You wouldn't get that, unless you knew that we aren't supposed to be taking bottles soda/juices without paying for them, which most of us do anyway. Well, she got pissed, yelled at the manager for a while and walked out. Followed by a friend of hers who apparently looked at the manager wrong. A third didn't show up at 3 to start her shift with me tonight, which is when I found out. So, I got to work with my manager tonight. Which wasn't too bad, because he didn't want to be there, because he had started working at 4am. So, with that mindset, he locked the doors at 9pm, which ended my night and started my day off an hour earlier. Drama is so overrated. It seems in this world, that most people can't get by the day without starting some sort of drama, whether it be small or large. And it sucks, because I hate dealing with other people's bullshit. On another note: My anger update. It seems that with this increasing more and more at work, I should keep you updated on how bad I blow up at work. Today wasn't too bad, it wasn't as busy. But there was a spurt where I threw stuff and I punched the ice in the container out front. Which, a while after I did it, I found out I cut myself a little bit on my knuckles. Not too painful, just a real annoyance. Is my anger a form of drama? That for you to decide. You should see some of the rants and rage I throw at work, they are entertaining when I get into a better mood. Especially breaking that ice coffee brew basket. The thing is an overgrown version of your normal brew basket and made of basket and I put a nice crack in it. Seriously, i'm actually shocked the sucker didn't snap into two pieces. The best part? The manager had to tape it back together, so it actually does work again. Fortunately, for all, I don't take my anger out against my coworkers. Just all the dumbass customers and inanimate objects. Which, is better, if you think about it. And that is all I have to say.

Anger Management V 1.0

My anger has seemed to have resurfaced since I started working at Dunkin Donuts. That, my friends, is not a good thing. If you happen to know me very well, you know I have anger issues. I'm talking Serious. Anger. Issues. I hate getting angry, but when i'm there, any little thing can set me off and it's not that pretty. Example: Work today was one big anger issue. It seems that I might have to change my mind about management. If they want me to be one, I will just so that I can change that fucking schedule. We are busy during the afternoon, from about 3-7pm. So, there are only two of us on tonight from 3p-10p. Therefore, the place was trashed the whole night, we had to scurry the last few hours to get everything done, and I pretty much lost it all night. I was throwing cups in anger, threw a coolatta in the sink and got splashed, angry tones over drive-thru. The biggest anger issue was me breaking the ice coffee brew basket. Yea, I can't keep my anger issue in check there. I was close to having a breakdown. So, all in all, an AWESOME fucking shift. And don't get me started with the internet. I caused a really big shitstorm at ZU, that I am getting ready to hide in a big fucking ditch for a week. I started a war I didn't want to start, and they won't give it up even though I apologized. I don't want to start something with you guys, and yes, I know you're watching this, since you found it funny to post my info on your site. I don't want any trouble from you guys, I won't meddle in your site again. And with, I'm going to go cry myself to sleep. Maybe it will ease the pain that has creeped back into my leg again. Fucking doctors don't know shit.

Golf

I went to the Driving Range today and came to the unfortunate conclusion: I am not the next Tiger Woods. It's unfortunate because in my never ending endeavor to be the next millionaire, that isn't the route I can take. But it isn't just the money I am interested in. Golf seems like that one sport that even if you can just hit the ball 200 yds per swing, chip it on the green, and the putt it in, you have a daily activity that you can play with many friends, if you choose. However, my drive doesn't like to get airborne. And when it does, it hooks far right. An issue I can not for the life of me solve. I have yet to practice the other aspects of the game, but it is my goal to find a person who knows the game very well, and coach me for free. Free things are much better than paid things, but you already knew that. I have been watching way too much Sportcenter/Golf/Golf Channel to realize that it is my goal to find another hobby/sport to occupy my mind. It seems that would be the best way to past the time. But, practicing sucks, and anyone who was on my JV team in high school baseball would know that. But, I also realize it's the only way to get better. Most aren't born with that ability to do everything perfectly, even though most claim that. In other news, my bowling scores for the night include: 95, 103, 92, 103, 106. 499 for 5 makes Lozzie a sad panda. And that's all I have to say for now.

Jobs

It seems the writing bug has bitten hard this time around. The urge for me to write is strong, yet that piece for ZU I want to write remains unwritten. I find it funny that I have been searching online for jobs in journalism. The only bad part being that I actually need college experience to get the jobs. If only they accepted the fact that I was on my high school's newspaper and nothing more. I actually do know what i'm doing, even if most don't think so. That's the only thing I hate about jobs. Certain jobs, like writing, shouldn't require a college education. I don't mean that people who speel liek tis should be able to be a reporter. I mean, if you can impress a publisher with a piece of work enough, you should get the job. Continuing to woo said publisher is the bonus. I know what you're thinking. I am trying to find an excuse to stay out of school. You could be far from the truth. I want to go back, i've been itching for the past year. The funds are what's keeping me out. I just need to win the lottery or have something just drop my tuition fees in my lap, and I am all set. Those commercials are so true. "I need money to go to school, but I need school to get a better job, so I can make the money I need to go to school." It's an endless fucking cycle. It's amazing how people are able to accomplish the loop without spiraling too far into debt. Granted, I am paying off a loan that went down the shitter, but once it's paid off, that an extra $50 a month to my name. Granted, it's going to take me 15 months to do it, but that's closing in. It's also amazing that I can find something to rant about every night. It must be to keep my mind off other issues. Like the state of the world and my body. Both, to which, I don't want to get into. Life sucks and it's only recently I've believed that to the fullest extent. But, I chug along knowing I must be here for a reason, otherwise I wouldn't be here at all. And that's all I have to say for now.

Work

You know, if you know me, you know that I have two styles to me personality. I have my laid back, really lazy side and I have my hard-working, must get everything done side. Currently, my lazy side is in full force. As mentioned before, I told you about my love of writing, yet the lack of inspiration to do anything about it. I am currently in the middle of writing an article for ZU (which I believe I said as well), which I took a break from to write this. I also took a break from it to chat in the chatroom, practice my hitting stance, and go to the bathroom. My two sides also show up at work. I am either the most laziest cleaner/stocker in the store that night, or I am doing everything at such a pace, I even amaze myself. Sunday and Monday are two great examples. Sunday, I was really lazy, and didn't want to do a thing. It might have something to do with the fact that halfway through the shift, my inner thigh decided to say "fuck you" and started hurting again. Therefore, I did shit on Sunday. Monday, however, I got in, started doing dishes, took out the trash, took orders, and started stocking. It was pretty much nonstop all night. My leg started nagging at the end, but not to the extent it has been hurting. Right now, my leg is fine. It seems the pain is starting to subside for the most part, however that doesn't keep my nerves in check. I still believe that something is wrong and probably will be back in the doctors office in no time, asking for them to do a test in my area, so they can finally tell me I am a massive hypodroniac who has nothing better to do than think he has something he doesn't. That's my life. I go to bed every night and the first thing I think of is whether or not I wake up in the morning. It's depressing, I know, but it's good in a way. It makes me appreciate what I have more and makes me more motivated to do more. Including going back to school, which you wouldn't expect anyone to be itching to go back after 2 years off. I have never been the normal person in the bunch. Ask anyone who knows me. Well, I better set off to work on this article. I have many more I want to write, but the patience and attention to do it isn't there. And I say I want to be a journalist... And for those who wished I updated (to which I say, what the fuck are you on), this hasn't been in the front of my mind, as you just read.

Bowling

Well, things are looking brighter I do believe. I went bowling tonight. Now you would think that isn't that big of a deal, but the thing is, my leg didn't kill me as much as it has been, especially since I am was actively playing the game the entire night. You think it isn't much to do to bowl, but you are moving arms and legs to slide, so my leg is moving around enough to maybe cause pain. Now, tomorrow... If you care, my scores were 85, 99, 110, 114, and 81. That's 489 for 5, which is above my average. If you are wondering why they are "so low", it's because it's candlepin bowling, the one with smaller balls and pins. I live in New England and candlepin is king in this area. That's all I got right now. But, I do ask that whoever the anonymous person is that is posting comments on my site... I would appreciate if you tell me who you are. I like to know who is actually viewing my blog.

Pain V 3.0

I love being in pain. It's so exciting. I love walking around with my legs pulsing and telling me it hurts. The better part is that the Aleve i'm taking isn't really dulling the pain much. The heat on my leg does, so there is hope for me to not worry as much. I want this pain to go away. I want to feel like there really isn't nothing major wrong with me. Because it's getting to be that way. I feel like there is something major wrong, just like my sister knows there is something major wrong with his wrist. I am going bowling tomorrow, because I will never give that up. But, I am not going to play DDR, because i'm stupid, but not THAT stupid. I've decided that I will hopefully write a couple of articles i've been meaning to write at the alley tomorrow. I have so many ideas finally for articles to write, yet, if you read my post about irony being a bitch, then you know my situation. Anyway, I am at 4:24am. My plan didn't work last night, as I did fall asleep at 7am. So I am out to play MVP Baseball and listen to Pottercast (because I already finished all my Mugglecasts, so you Mugglecasters that don't read this, don't worry ;))

Pain V 2.0

In an attempt to control the pain in my leg (and lessen my fears for this month), I went back to the doctor again to find out why my leg has still been hurting and if i'm still going to be here for a long time (don't ask). Well, they told me again what they told me two months ago (I actually had deja vu at this appointment): That my groin is sprained, that I should not be too active, take two aleve two times a day, and apply a heat pad to the area. The only issue I had a concern with was he did feel the lump I thought I felt, and he told me it's nothing major that it might just be a cyst. The last time I checked, a cyst was something to worry about. But, I am going to actually follow doctors orders this time around, other than the last two. The reason my leg probably isn't fixing itself is because I haven't been following the orders. The first one was to do what i'm doing now. I started taking the aleve, but I was still active and didn't apply the heat. The second one was to take an antibiotic, which I didn't take until a month after he gave it to me. But, I was still active. This time, i'm finally not being an idiot, and deciding to see if this works. If not, i'm going back to have them check me out again, and this time, i'm not leaving until they do any tests that will tell me that my groin is fine, and i'm not going to die anytime soon. So, i'm sitting here with a heat pad on my leg. I will not go out and throw my tennis ball around in the parking lot (which is the most active this i was doing), but, I flat out refuse to miss bowling this week. If, after this week's session, I will not bowl next week and rest my leg. The only issue I have with this week, is that I was active over the weekend, and didn't let my leg fix itself. I asked my uncle to go to the driving range this weekend. I don't know whether or not to say maybe next week, but I really wanted to start practicing golf ASAP. But, my health is the most important priority. Now, I think I should go to bed. I've been meaning to go to bed earlier, rather than 7am every morning. Yes, you read that right. 7am. Every morning. I'm gone.

Irony

I am a writer. I love to write and it gives me a nice sense of being. The fact that I can write something, people will read it, and hopefully they like what I have to say makes me elated. But, I am also a procrastinator. I love to be lazy and not do anything productive, while thinking I am doing something productive. It reigns true at home, when I was at school, and at work. So, my two personalities are clashing. I have this wonderful article I want to write for Zelda Universe, but I am too lazy to care to write it. Then a third factor is there as well. I have a very unique case of writers block. Sometimes, if I sit to write an article, I have a hard time finding the words I want to write down. So, what do I do? Irony... How much I hate you.

Pain V 1.0

We all know that pain sucks. We have been in pain at least once in our life to know that when you are in pain, it sucks. Well, I have had a constant pain in my left leg for the past couple of months. I have been to the doctors twice in May. I saw two different people. One told me I had a groin sprain, which my mom had also told me. The other told me I had epidydimitis (when I told him I thought I had felt a lump on my boys). So, I don't know what to believe. The second one prescribed an antibiotic, to which I took last week, to which I was fine the whole time. But now, the pain is back, and other ones have been popping up. Some days it's my lower back, sometimes my little pinky on my left hand feels numb... So yea... But, the reason I haven't been back to the doctor since, is the same reason I have a nice $180 dentist bill... I just don't have the money to do it. So I'll just sit here in my room, take my aleve, and ice my crotch. Maybe Wednesday i'll suck it up and go to the doctor.

Blog

*Parental Advisory Suggested: There is swearing in this blog, so be warned* I guess I'll get into a real blog place... This is my first attempt at a true blog. You won't find much here, just my random ramblings. I will probably post articles I write, my thoughts about video games, bowling, and wrestling, or whatever you really want me to rant about. About me: I am a news/content editor at a nice site called Zelda Universe. I am also a newly instated Webmaster/Admin of the forums. I have been with the site for almost four years, so I am (hopefully) somewhat respected. I hope. I am an active candlepin bowler. I am a gamer. I watch the WWE. I tend to ramble about these things, and have actually started writing articles about them. Mostly just for my own good mind, other times for others to read. My Zelda ones get published on ZU, but my wrestling ones are posted on my new wrestling forum for other wrestling fans to read. I need to promote that forum more though. That's all for now. More to follow.