But every day that passed and I was unable to see Liliana in my life hurt a little more. I had been in her life for almost the entirely of her first year on this Earth. While I did ask for a DNA test, I did so to make sure that if I was going to support her, that she was mine. I could never deny that child because she is a splitting image of me, but on the off chance my ex lied to me, I wanted to be 100% sure. Not only that, but if I had waited until the courts, I would have never been served my custody papers and found out that my ex wanted full custody with no visitations with me. I found out later she did that because I denied the baby. I didn't deny her, I just wanted to make sure she was mine. Big difference.
I tried to be the bigger man and work something out with my ex, but she wouldn't budge. She told me that it wasn't a good idea, so I took her court to work out an agreement. The main reason I didn't take the baby over the last month was because I was afraid that after one more argument, I would get a cop at my door requesting that I return the baby because my ex claimed that I had kidnapped her. Which would be impossible, because I wouldn't be able to take the baby, all her essentials, and her clothes without my ex there.
So, that culminated into today when the court date was set. We went in and I wanted things to go back to normal. I would resume my two overnights a week and return Lily on the third morning. My ex thought that the baby was too clingy to her and that she might not take well to coming back into my life after a month. Needless to say, we sat in court for six hours to have a judge claim that we would ease Lily back into my life with "supervised" visits with my ex or her mom to make sure that the baby was comfortable with me to take on overnights again.
Now, I am not one to brag... Oh wait, yes I am. Needless to say, I went to see the baby today and was slightly nervous that she would not remember who I was and shy away from me. My fears were extinguished the minute Lily set eyes on me at the park for the first time in a month. She gave me the biggest smile she can put on that face, waved at me, and ran right at me. She thought it would be funny to veer at the last minute, but I snatched her up and hugged her tight and gave her a big kiss. Ease her back into my life? It's like I never left.
Unfortunately I have the biggest test of my patience in my life tomorrow and next week. I have to hang out with Lily with my ex or her mom around to make sure Lily is alright. But after today, I find that pointless. But I also know that if I am going to fix my relationship with Lily and be able to communicate with my ex again about the baby, I need to follow the courts for now and deal with it. In three weeks, I get the baby on my normal days and everything will be back to normal. Hopefully for good. Hopefully, I only have to talk with my ex on those days if needed.
Now, I have a belated one year old party to plan for my little one. I guess it will be a one-year-old party mixed with my 25th birthday. What a way to celebrate my birthday than with a birthday party for my little one. Nothing special really, just to say that I am sorry that missed your birthday, but I felt that having eyes bore holes in the back of my head because everyone hates me would not have been my idea of a fun time.
Anyway, that is all for now. I will post again later!
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